i got 99 problems and probably about 94 of them come from my lack of motivation to do anything



does anyone know avocado’s number

1 guacamole= 6.023X10^23


Do you ever have that moment when a kid is looking at you and you realize that they’re looking at you as a grown up? Then its like no child im a children too, dont. Im sorry my outward appearance confuses you.

A Guide to Terminology as used by Western Males of the Species



Prude - a woman who won’t fuck you

Dyke - a woman who won’t fuck you because you have a penis

Slut - a woman who fucks other people and not you

Tease - a woman who won’t fuck you even though she smiled at you

Feminist - a woman who won’t fuck you because she has, like, thoughts and stuff

Bitch - a woman who treats you the same as you treat women


once i had a dream that my cat was working at mcdonalds w/ me and she had a lil uniform and she kept getting fur in the fries and everyone was yelling at me and saying “ur cat sucks on fries” and i was like “shes just a cat give her a break!” and i woke up crying

he was never very good to me, but boy did he feel right for me
a late night thought about the boy who stole my heart four months ago (via nakedly)


I really just want a man to bring me flowers on a first date like I don’t even care if it’s hand picked, that’s freaken cute.



u know someone is having a rough day when their favorite song plays and they don’t sing along

No one will understand how much this just broke my heart.

I wonder how many times you’ve compared me to her.
Ten word story.  (via exfriend)